moments that last a lifetime.

if visuals are your thing, then you would recognise the feeling that stirs in that moment where the literal aspect of life integrates itself into the mix of logic and emotions that you are conscious of.

i need better words than that. but while this is a picture of teacups and empty plates, the image etched in my memory is that of a foaming whitewash rushing towards me. relentless - that is the word i have been feeling. have you ever had waves crash over you constantly? just standing against them takes so much effort. it comes, over and over and over again. and each time you crest a wave, its time to paddle forward and meet the next one. all that is going through my mind in that moment is, this is exactly like my life right now. this is it. this is it. this is exactly it.

life feels like that right now. i feel beaten, beaten but alive. i feel alive, alive but tired. and all i know that God wants of me now, is to dig in and stand with Him.

so this mind picture, the one with big waves bearing down on me and some waters to paddle through, the soreness from my arms, the mild fearful anticipation - these are the elements of a story that I am living, right now. and i'll hold on to it, because, my God is a God who Redeems, my God is a God who holds all the threads of my life in His able hands.