its all coming to an end.

april has come and gone, its already May. and.. very soon, i'll get to see my friends again. tomorrow's the last day of the examinations, the last day of year 1 in NUS. i've yet to panic for the upcoming paper, but this academic year cant pass soon enough.
i've gotten myself lost, countless of times. when school first started, when things got rough, when i thought i was doing fine. but God never gave up, and i'm slowly muddling my way back to Him. hanging on and pulling on Him. along the way, i've found that there arent that many people who actually care. people who say they do, but dont, not sincerely anyway. but i've also found, that there are some who are precious blessings. through it all, He's been there. in the background when i pushed Him away, in the foreground when i came crawling back. probably, the most important lesson i've learnt this year, is the wretchedness of our beings. our black dirty selves who dare to stand in God's glory, only by the grace He gives.

a new day is coming. one which is gonna last three months, one that is full of hopes, and dreams and castles in the air. but i know that it is one which i have committed fully to Him. although my flesh still hopes and covets that dive trip with weiqi (:

i guess, i'm glad to be where i am. failures, wounds, scars and everything.

Convinced of my deception
I've always been a fool
I fear this love reaction
Just like you said I would

A rose could never lie
About the love it brings
And I could never promise
To be any of those things

If I was not so weak
If I was not so cold
If I was not so scared of being broken
Growing old
I would be...
I would be...
I would be...
Frail.

Blessed are the shallow
Depth they'll never find
Seems to be some comfort
In rooms I try to hide

Exposed beyond the shadows
You take the cup from me
Your dirt removes my blindness
Your pain becomes my peace

-Frail, Jars of Clay.