Hop on, hop in, hop from.

18 Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old.

19 Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert. -Isaiah 43:18-19

Ready and alone,

My first dive trip after certification,

Venturing out again into the unknown.

Excited and afraid,

Buoyed by the exploration of a shipwreck.

But what awaits me on this seabed?

I've gotten the green light forward. From all the relevant authorities in my life. Blessings have been given... and I am hesitating. Doubting. Fretting. 

Woe it is - in this unblessed state, when I steal glances behind. 

One last picture before I enter the water, 

one big smile before the noisy breaths.

Air is comfort, air is safe

On land, it is in abundance.

Underwater, I learn, each breath is a breath of faith.

Faith in the equipment, and the preparation, and past experience.

Wisdom says the doubter is thrown about by the waves, they overturn me. Like the surf crashing onto the rocky beach, I am swept towards no good end. 

Because, have you ever known what it is like to leave the familiar behind? Worse still, to leave for a land - not of greener pastures, but to greater failures. Humanly-speaking, it is the most terrifying thing I could possibly do. But, I know, the land of the giant Failure, is only a tiny border town in the kingdom of His Greatness. There is so much more to know. 

Inside this new place, I am fully dependent on my equipment. 

Diving is easier than living. 

I cannot feign independence from my life-giver. 

I cannot pretend He doesnt exist. 

Or maybe I can - just that I know enough of drowning to be afraid of it.

there is silence. 

a type that i dont know how to breach gently,

the kind that doesnt go away with an awkwardly comfortable joke.

one that can be likened to avalanches - just the silent sort. 

it drives me to worry, drains me of the encouragement that wise words bring, forces me to go back on my knees and take a huge gulp of air.

my fins are broken, my mask is foggy and i've lost track of the divemaster,

the current is picking up and it takes all of me to keep on finning and loving - hard.

life's tough.

and to quote a little one, I've only got 2/3 of it more to go. 

so God, I pray, 

help me perceive this new thing you're doing,

teach me to depend on You in all humility,

bolster my faith in You, the Rock of Ages,

and lets get this party going,

together.

the deep blue sea awaits.