(Trying) To give thanks

This weekend is thanksgiving. It's not mattered so much before.
I told boss: 2018 has been my favourite year of work so far. (Bad grammar included.)
God has captured my heart with His love ... somewhat.

There are hints of resistance. I'm trying to sidle around the lack, the constraints. Help me confront these parts of my heart.

I see hints of her in the amazing women that I meet, I wonder, if that is her too. Am I obsessed?

But also, I see the breadcrumbs. Too many to be a coincidence, yet too explainable as an occupational hazard.

"Have you ever thought of working overseas? Have you considered working for __?"

God, help me to fix my eyes on You, and not on the person I might be, nor on the things I could do.

She said: Serve, so that in your weaknesses, you may know God's strength. And not to seek to show your strengths in your serving.

Bullseye, wise one.

The pride. That ugly need for affirmation.

Give thanks that I need Him. Give thanks, for when I am weak, He is very strong.