You started it all

You started it all, so many years ago

On that one broken little soul.

Looking back, I see how I've grown

But what I'm missing

is Your hand in the unseen.

I don't yet understand
where I fit into Your timeless plan
even though I have decided
what I'd like to say at my very end

You started it all, so many years ago,
On another faithful soul.
Father Abram was called, He followed you
It was his life's goal.
He came out refined like gold.

Father of faith they called him,
Father of Isaac proved his heart clean.
Centuries later, hindsight beams
It's impossible to be missing
Your hand in the unseen.

You started it all, so many years ago
On that man you refined like gold
Isaac then Jacob then Moses,
Ezekiel then Daniel then Jesus.
Of all things, He grew from a fetus

You started it all, a revolution of hearts
Coming not in glory, playing not the part,
Reveling in the obedience of
A few faithful nuts.

How does all of this make me

someone You'll use purposefully?

This is as far as I get tonight. How Jesus has loved me with such love, I am still trying to understand it. More than that, I am anxious to know how I fit into His grand plan. A matter of purpose and of significance, I want to wake up each morning, knowing I am one step closer to completing His finishable task He has set out for me. God knows how much I yearn to be able to give back to Him, the love He has given me, and He also knows how much I'm unwilling to give and how much I detest giving. Even now, I wonder if I am getting ahead of myself - am I too enamored with His great plan? Am I relegating our relationship to the corner of the forgotten? Do I love God or am I loving the person He is helping me be? Is pride getting in the way?

Its 1.27am. My head is flighty with the compliments I've received today, my heart is buoyed by the non-coincidence of my photo and that particular part of the Gospel, my thoughts are uncertain about whether I should be happy or worried or excited and my eyes are closing.

God, open the eyes of my heart and show me the error of my ways.
But if You are happy with me, help me be happy with that for today.
All that matters is that there were beautiful words I've read
and for now, to rest my head in this warm bed.

[inspired - South Africa, Jan 2015]

Somewhere down the road, time has shown,
The little ones you called your own,
Became the church
That continued what you started, so many years ago.

You started it all, not that many years ago,
In my life with groups of people,
 who brought themselves low
Determined to love with love they knew,
No one was exempted,
not even this one little hardened soul.

And so today, all I can do is to know,
Your hand is still in the unseen,
Your plan is unfolding as I live,
And Your approval is the only one I'll need,