Jill C. wrote in a post titled, Life After Christmas:
"In the bleak moments of late winter, Christmas is not anti-climactic; it confronts us all the more. It is our startling reminder that God has not forgotten, though in the thick of our empty routines, despairing headlines, and blinding self-interest we may forget the Child.
Yet here, in the quiet and empty days after celebrations have ceased, the sights and sounds of the human God among us can better be noticed and more authentically received.
If Advent brings the world’s attention to the sounds of one who stands at the door and knocks, and Christmas marks the culmination of that knocking in the cry of a newborn king, then the days thereafter usher us further into the presence of a God who not only knocks and draws near, but has opened wide the doors of heaven and calls us further into the kingdom where God himself wipes away every tear."
I am confronted once more by the start of yet another year. A year that threatens much, but held by a God who promises even more.
I dare not retreat in fear, but my steps forward are shivering and tentative, my thoughts hinder rather than motivate. This year has shaken my faith - and circumstances have been secondary. But at the same time, I've heard the whispers of God's call on my life once more - the comforting words of a doting and gentle Father, the certain promises of a Sovereign God, the sharp and stern rebukes of the Word who sifts... and this flickering of ambers that I do not understand - of a call to missions, and my response.
2017 - where my faith broke underneath a facade of life-as-usual, struggles and failures and sharing; I do not even dare admit this to the cell, because as much as Christ has been my Saviour, as much as I have experienced just enough grace for each day, I am shaken.
So how do I move into 2018? How can I? Unless my faith is rooted in the One who calls me, unless my motivations are anchored in the adoration of my Jesus... And then, it remains so that roots can get uprooted, that anchors do come loose in storms... and in my life, there are skeletons I see, inconsistencies in my behavior and attitudes that I cannot accept, nor I believe, can God accept.
But God knew, and He still knows.
He knows my fears... and in this person's words, "the same feeling of worthlessness and the same propensity to despair."
He knows my weaknesses and the sting of being confronted with them.
He knows my angst and frustrations... and the accompanying sighs of resignation.
Lord, I don't want to fail You.
Today, I felt bombarded, and then vulnerable. And tonight, its 2:40am, but these are Yours now. Help me to know when to share; and when not to.
Yet here, in the quiet and empty days after celebrations have ceased, the sights and sounds of the human God among us can better be noticed and more authentically received.
If Advent brings the world’s attention to the sounds of one who stands at the door and knocks, and Christmas marks the culmination of that knocking in the cry of a newborn king, then the days thereafter usher us further into the presence of a God who not only knocks and draws near, but has opened wide the doors of heaven and calls us further into the kingdom where God himself wipes away every tear."
I am confronted once more by the start of yet another year. A year that threatens much, but held by a God who promises even more.
I dare not retreat in fear, but my steps forward are shivering and tentative, my thoughts hinder rather than motivate. This year has shaken my faith - and circumstances have been secondary. But at the same time, I've heard the whispers of God's call on my life once more - the comforting words of a doting and gentle Father, the certain promises of a Sovereign God, the sharp and stern rebukes of the Word who sifts... and this flickering of ambers that I do not understand - of a call to missions, and my response.
2017 - where my faith broke underneath a facade of life-as-usual, struggles and failures and sharing; I do not even dare admit this to the cell, because as much as Christ has been my Saviour, as much as I have experienced just enough grace for each day, I am shaken.
So how do I move into 2018? How can I? Unless my faith is rooted in the One who calls me, unless my motivations are anchored in the adoration of my Jesus... And then, it remains so that roots can get uprooted, that anchors do come loose in storms... and in my life, there are skeletons I see, inconsistencies in my behavior and attitudes that I cannot accept, nor I believe, can God accept.
But God knew, and He still knows.
He knows my fears... and in this person's words, "the same feeling of worthlessness and the same propensity to despair."
He knows my weaknesses and the sting of being confronted with them.
He knows my angst and frustrations... and the accompanying sighs of resignation.
Lord, I don't want to fail You.
Today, I felt bombarded, and then vulnerable. And tonight, its 2:40am, but these are Yours now. Help me to know when to share; and when not to.
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