almost. but not quite

we didn't make it to 12. but we did hit 11.
somehow, i say 'we' like  ...

well, one month later, i'm back to finish this post.

He was a good boy. It is a private grief. 

He made me laugh. These are silent tears.

We had snuggles when I needed them. I need one now. 

Did I thank God for him? I am sad and thankful. 

He was never the problem, nor the solution. But his acceptance of me made things feel better. I am pretty sure, these tears are not just for his passing alone either. 

I said something to that effect - with a photo of my journal, and a pint. 

God, take me back. For all that I lack in discipline, give me the love for you that will drive this, give me the heart to always seek you. For all that I lack in regularity, let me do it spontaneously - loving you and loving the people you made. For all that I lack in sensitivity towards you, make up for it in abundance - be louder than my deaf ears, be softer than the hardness of my heart, be gentler than the coarseness of my soul, be kinder to me than i know how to accept. 

Let Christ be enough for me... in all aspects of those words. And help me live for You again.